Cave of Sleepers: Theresa

Written by Astrid Tops
 

** White Entry 45 **
 
 

32d entry
 

Looking back at what I wrote to you so far, I think I've covered many
important bits of the last year. Maybe there is one I still owe you:
the time I found out what uncle Benedict had been doing since he
left the Courts. Not that I had a lengthy talk with him, so perhaps
my impressions are mistaken, but still... it feels true.

It was shortly after Oliver and I had broken up that I decided to
go away from Amber for a while, especially when I got advanced
warning from Damon that Oliver had been seen at the palace
and had announced his intention to stay a few weeks. Maybe
he wanted to talk things over, but I didn't want to - I wanted to
avoid him.

So I decided on the old family tradition of taking a horse and
galloping off into shadow to pout on your own. It's actually
nice and quiet for a chance. I guess we all need our solitude
now and then. I headed out towards Arden and decided to
head out to the direction of Begma and Kashfa. Begma is
too civilized for me, but the further you go to the Kashfa
and Eregnor border, the more sparsely inhabited it gets,
provided you take the western parts and stay away from
the eastern plantations.

I knew this part of the Golden Circle somewhat, as I had gone
there on a few scouting trips with uncle Julian. Arden is
good for forest tracking, but the area between Begma,
Kashfa and Eregnor has a good mixture of open plains,
forests, hills and mountains that will allow to learn
more varieties of old fashioned tracking. Nowadays these
lands do not seem to be directly under anyones jurisdiction,
which makes it very suitable for those who do not like
civilization, for honest or less honest reasons. Also, since
the Amber economy is falling down hard, there is a renewed
interest  in finding gold in the mountains or the rivers that flow
from it.

Some tenacious souls go out and start anew, trying to live
off the land, farming and chopping wood. Small communities
of refugees, outlaws or heretics sometimes thrive, and
sometimes fail. Well, I wasn't about to interfere with them,
I merely wanted to be out there, hunt my own food, sleep
under the stars, and avoid the intricacies of relatives and
ex lovers.

After a week or so, I joined up with a small group of men
seeking gold in Eregnor. It is not a place where you see
many women, but if they are there, they usually can take
care of themselves. After a suitable demonstration they
accepted that I was one of those, and we shared a fire.

From them I heard the tale of a long, gaunt man with
a curved sword who had saved them when they were
attacked by bandits. The gold seekers had emptied
a small river cache of gold nuggets, but apparently
one of their companions was a snitch for a local
bandit lord, who attacked them. "We would have been
killed if it wasn't for that stranger. It was incredible.
He singlehandedly defeated the whole gang."
"What?" I asked, "Killing them all?"
"No, that's the funny part. He asked them to surrender,
and when they didn't, he started knocking them out
until most of them were unconscious or had fled.
In return for his help, the man asked that we would
assist in getting the bandits to the nearest local
authorities. We couldn't refuse that after what he had done
for us, so we helped him tie them up and handed them
over in  Apalca, a Kashfan village not far from there."
"What was his name?"
"He never gave us his name, though we asked. Said
he was a simple wanderer. He was a tall, gaunt man with
a strange curved sword, and he wore his long hair in
a tail on his back."
"I'm amazed that if he carries a sword, he still insisted
on not killing the bandits."
"Well, we tried to argue with him about that, but he said
that killing usually doesn't solve anything, and that
he had seen enough of it. The sword he used was blunt."
"A blunt sword?" That was strange. People who prefer
blunt weapons usually don't use swords, and swords
are usually not blunt. They are not very effective if they
are.
"Yes, strange, isn't it? And he still managed to take out
all those bandits. I have never seen anyone so fast
with a weapon as that men. And he stopped crossbow
bolts with it as well."
"You've made me very curious."
"Apparently they now call him the Wanderer in these parts.
Keep an ear open. Though I warn you, he doesn't talk much."

I knew that I probably couldn't have managed to defeat
a large group of armed men with a blunt sword that fast, so
I wondered if it was a relative. Well, I knew only one who
fitted the physical description. And he had recently
disappeared, but still... Going around not killing people
is hardly a thing any Amberite would consider. We're
too cynical for that sort of stuff.

It took me another week to track him down. A few times
I barely missed him, as if he knew I was on his trail and
wanted to avoid me. Well, I can be tenacious if I want to
be, and I wanted to see him, so I persevered and finally
cornered him. Or maybe he gave up and waited for me
by his small fire.

"Theresa, isn't it?"
"Yes, uncle Benedict."
He wasn't wearing armour or his Amber colours, simply
a brownish leather outfit, with a hat against the rain and
the sun. The aforementioned sword, a longbow, a rifle and
I thought I saw another sword in his saddle bags.
He offered me one of the hares he had been preparing
for dinner. I accepted, and for a long time we didn't
speak. Family etiquette required me to wait till uncle
Benedict would start the conversation, and would
simply have to be patient.

After dinner he offered me a sip of brandy, and finally
inquired how things were in Amber. "I am sure you
know most of it," I said. "Bleys is on a rampage
through the city, because of Fiona, and Julian, Caine
and Gerard have decided to turn Amber in a Republic.
Flora is mostly drunk these days, and I haven't seen
Random in a while. Nobody has a clue about your
whereabouts."
He nodded. "I would like to keep it that way."
I sighed. "Why? Bleys and the rest could start
a civil war, and your influence could help."
He shook his head. "I'm done with that. I find
the idea of an Amber Republic... intriguing, but Amber
will forever remain as it is now in my memory. I haven't
been there since Oberon left for the Courts, and I will
never return there. My days as a general are over."
"Uncle, wouldn't you rather go out with a blaze of
glory?" He smiled, and shook his head again.
"I'm done with glory as well. All my life I've killed
on the orders of the King of Amber, apart from those
time when I've killed for other reasons. Now, with
death approaching, I feel strongly that I have earned
the right to live out my remaining years with doing
what I like best."
"Wandering?"
"Using my skills to save lives and not take them.
I come from an age where the strongest will rule
and I am too old to change my ways, but at least
I can use my might to protect the weak."
"Amber also has weak that need protection."
"Then help them, and convince my brothers to help
the weak. Some of them may find it a novel idea, but
it provides an odd satisfaction, and I find Benedict
the Protector more true to my nature, in the end, than
Benedict the Killer."

I stood up and bowed to him, in respect. "Uncle, I will
keep your secret. And if things go as I hope, our
Amber republic will protect the weak."
"It may or it may not. One form of rule can be just as
brutal as another." Obviously he hadn't lost all his
family cynicism.
"You may be right, uncle, but we can but try."

I took my leave and went back to Amber, and never
discussed my uncle with anyone. Oliver was gone
when I came back and things went slowly back to
normal.

I sometimes think about his words. I have killed many
people. What would it take for me to feel like him,
to feel I no longer have the right to kill simply because I
can? Can I not protect the weak by killing those who
would exploit them? How about justice? For now, I will
simply continue my own path. I will kill when I think it
is the better way. My blade will remain sharp, and I
will protect by slaying those who I judge to be "evil",
even if that is personal and arbitrary. But maybe, uncle,
someday I will feel as you do, so I do not ridicule your
choice, and my blessings will be with you.

Theresa
 
 
 

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